We’re back from vacation but I want to start at the very end of the trip. You know, the part where you get to the airport to discover that the airline has booked you on a flight that left a half an hour earlier than your original flight and neglected to mention this little detail? That half an hour that is the difference between making your flight and not making your flight? We were booked on a flight two hours later and I made the mistake of telling Sam “Our plane left without us!” That little mistake led to a continuous stream of crying “Our plane left without us! Our plane left without us!” while I tried to reassure him that we were going to go on a bigger and better plane as we whisked him off to go feed ducks at the wildlife sanctuary to kill time.
The flight from Green Bay to O’Hare was uneventful but we had a two hour layover there and the play area that helped us kill three hours on the way there was closed in the evenings because who in their right minds travels with preschoolers near their bedtimes? The moving walkways were great fun. For him. Each time we passed the boards with the departures and arrivals it looked worse and worse because there was “pockets of weather” (I want to know what isn’t weather?) causing trouble, you know, the thunder and lightning type of trouble. I kept expecting my flight to be cancelled but instead of canceling it, they let us sit on the plane for 2.5 hours before we took off. So, it’s 9pm aka after bedtime and we’re stuck on an airplane. Sam is being Sam and does an excited little yelp. The fiftyish woman in the seat in front of him pulls a visual snit; she jumped in her seat and turned around to make sure I could see her glare and know that he’s putting her out by being a 2.5 year old past his bedtime through no fault of his own. He did that a few more times while we were grounded with the same response from her. Then he committed the ultimate sin, he kicked the back of her seat! Oh my, she was nearly levitating in anger over that particular offense. I was nice; I stopped him although at this point I was very tempted to kick her seat myself as a reward for being so understanding and all. I admit there were at least two more occasions where he kicked the seat during the 2.5 hours he was in airplane prison.
He fell asleep just as the plane took off. At that point the bitchy lady ahead of us started making out with her partner in the seat next to her, another woman. At this point I got really irritated at the snitty lesbian because I’m sure that if I had complained about her behavior she’d have called me prejudiced and threatened to call the ACLU because her rights as a lesbian were being compromised. Yet she had absolutely no understanding that Sam was actually being very good for an overtired 2.5 year old. I’m sure she had labeled me a “breeder” and despises children.
Of course at that point I was very tempted to wake him up and let him kick her seat for the two-hour flight but didn’t want to subject myself to his unhappiness so I just tried to fart a lot. Unsuccessfully I might add.
We finally got home about 2:30 am and I’m still trying to catch up with everything that needs to be done after being gone for awhile. Why didn’t the lawn and cleaning elves visit while we were away? And the ones that leave groceries too?
More later…
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2 comments:
Good for you! Some people have their ideas out of order. What were you supposed to do with Sam, Hogtie him?
I would have helped you fart, totally, and I had a burrito within the last 24 hours too! I await a much more lengthy description of the trip.....
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