Today we went to see my FIL. He’s doing better than last week and this time he had a new acquisition, a simple unfinished pine coffin. It was propped up on some wood in the barn and when Sam asked what it was, I told him it was a box and didn’t feel I needed to go into any further detail. I expect that this means that Seward is coming to terms with what’s happening and he seems somewhat amused by the coffin. I told him it wasn’t ostentatious enough, that he should have shiny wood and lots of brass fittings. He laughed as that is something that would never suit him at all.
They are having discussions about lining the box. Must it be lined to go to crematorium? I have no idea. And how can morbid discussions like this also be entertaining?
Despite that I cried a bit on the way home. It’s becoming much too real.
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3 comments:
Anne,
I am so sorry that Seward is not doing very well. He's a wonderful man! I hope he enjoys your pie.
I dropped by your house to say hello today a little after noon, but no one was home. (I took the day off from work, and was looking for a new purse at TJ Maxx.)
Have a great (if all too short) visit to Tybee. I expect a full report upon your return.
I'm so sorry that he's so ill. I'm glad you guys have been able to spend time with him.
You asked: And how can morbid discussions like this also be entertaining?
My family is like this. I don't remember if I ever told you this. My parents had split up just before my mom was diagnosed with her (terminal) cancer, but things were very genial between them. I will never forget the day we met with the funeral director to discuss what would happen when she passed. It was me, my dad and my mom. She wanted to be creamated, and to have her ashes scattered into Lake Erie. We were asking about the legalities of this--was that allowed, did you have to go a certain distance from shore, or what? So, my dad gets a very serious look on his face, and says, "well, I was hoping to just drive out onto the 9th Street Pier (in Cleveland) and give her a hook shot out of the window. Would that be legal?" (he demonstrated the shot while speaking). My mom and I CRACKED UP, but the funeral director did not know what to say. We mortified the mortician!
I think there are just some of us who deal with tension with humor.
I think you've got to be that way to a certain extent, you know? I know death is awful and all that but I don't want to treat Seward as though he's not himself. Yesterday we joked about the fluid build up he's struggling with - I told him he looked as though he was about 7 months pregnant and he said it gave him a better appreciation of what it must be like....
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