Yesterday we decided to kill time with games. We played a matching game and didn’t count who got more pairs. Then we played Chutes and Ladders. He won easily by not following the rules in the slightest. The game is really too hard for him right now so I didn’t think much of it.
Then we began playing the dreaded Candyland, a traditional “bored” game as my friend Lisa describes such things, and Sam was comfortably ahead and nearly at the top when wham! He was slammed by the candy cane card. Remember the candy cane card?
It's nearly the equivalent of "Go directly to jail! Do not pass GO, do not collect $200" in Monopoly.
At first he was excited to get the card because, well, because it’s candy and that makes him think of eating candy of course. When he got there he realized that I was ahead of him on the board.
“Mama, let’s start over.”
The pressure is on, what do I do?
A. Do I risk winning the game knowing that most of the candy cards are still somewhere in the deck and I’m likely to kicked back thereby showing him that even if it seems like you’re losing you can still win?
B. Do I let him start over?
C Do I play to win and do everything in my evil power to make sure he loses while calling him a big old loser as I would have when I was a kid?
I chose “A.”
Bad choice.
Things were not going his way and despite my wishes, I ended up winning the game. Oh, the hysterics! He couldn’t be consoled. My attempt at making it a teaching moment “it doesn’t matter if you win, it’s just a game” and “we can play again after dinner and maybe you’ll win then” and “How would you feel if I cried and yelled when I lost?” went unnoticed.
This morning when we walked into his classroom at daycare the teaching was opening a brand new game…Candyland. I made a quick comment about being sportsmanlike and escaped before they started playing. My kid? Bad sport? Never!
Dang! I hate that I passed my competitive nature on to Sam.
4 comments:
I realize that I've never played Candyland! Chutes and Ladders - yes - but never Candyland. Dang!
Glad Ben is starting to feel better. Back pain sucks.
We just got back from Maine late last night, so I've been swamped with stuff to do. Just catching up on the blog now!
Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving.
definitely do NOT let him win to keep him happy. remember, he'll be playing this with other kids who will not want to play with him if he cheats.
Oh, and beth probably told you she has a giant shopping bag of videos. Enjoy...it'll take his mind off candy land for a while.
FWIW, I agree with Phyllis. Drew's sister is dealing with the same issue (hmmm, same age, too!)
I think it can help if you can model good losing behavior, too. I'm sure you do--but make sure he knows if you've "lost" some game he might not even know about (for example, bring it up if Lisa works out longer than you do).
But, he's still that age and is going to be a poor loser for a while, I think.
I usually let the kids win, but not always. I can't stand losing either. ;-)
Btw, he's about the right age for Guess Who, which is a lot more fun than Candy Land.
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