Words, sentences, and paragraphs

At a book club meeting tonight we talked briefly about writing styles, about what we like and don't like.

There are the masters of complex and beautiful sentences, some who write spare prose, elegant in its simplicity, those whose writing is clever, and those who tell the story without ever seeming to fall into any particular style.

How do people write well? I spew words across the page in an effort to remember some small aspect of my life knowing that it's mostly for me, a place to store memories since they all seem to flow out of my head like mercury from a broken thermometer, heavy and impossible to reassemble. I also need my memories to be stored in a searchable format. I think of the blog as a photo-expanded version of the 1850's farm log:

Cold today
Harvested the last of the winter squash
Wagon wheel is broken, have no supplies to fix
Almanzo's fever has finally broken

I sometimes wonder if Sam will ever be the slightest bit interested in reading what I've written and frankly, I'd be surprised if he does. As an older parent and somewhat of a worry wart, I like the idea that my words, however poorly and inconsistently formed, are out in the world for him in case anything should ever happen to me. A snapshot of the day-to-day life in our family or perhaps, a snapshot of day-to-day frustrations.

I often struggle with how much to share. Is it appropriate to record things that Sam and Ben have said or done? Is it my right to share those things?

As a very reserved person, it is not natural for me to state my undying love or passionately argue any particular point but in writing, it seems that those who do it best are those who are able to reach deep into themselves to express an emotion or experience that touches people in a somewhat universal manner. Is that ability learned or innate? I can't imagine it's effortless; I have to believe there is hair pulling, despair, and perhaps even a desire to chuck the whole thing out the window.

I'm working on a project right now, a small one, one that would be satisfied with a few well-stated words. Why is it I can write a paragraph about the difficulty of finding the words but still be unable to make progress toward my goal? I would love to create something I feel is worthy but I don't know how to get there. My head is filled with random words and phrases that are unsatisfactory, lifeless, and uninspired. The clock is ticking.