The 80s are coming!

The 1980s! I know it's not much of a surprise with all the leggings that are making their appearance even in fashion-backwards Vermont. Amongst all the khaki and hiking boots I've recently been spotting some scary things. The windows at American Apparel are particularly frightening.

I was in college in the 1980s. Those were fashion formative years for me and I have photographic proof (that has not been scanned) of the amusing awfulness of my fashion sense at that time. Not that it's improved much over the years. I've been chided for wearing clothes so old they had holes and for never dressing up for my husband (and Ben was not the one doing the chiding.) I'm probably a prime candidate for What Not To Wear.

Remember Jellies? 100% vinyl shoes with holes everywhere for your enjoyment. They are currently displayed in a shoe store window here in Burlington. Get yours today!

I had leggings in the 80s but even then, I didn't really wear them in public. They were reserved for my aerobics classes! Oh how I love being a stereotype. I just threw out some of my ancient leggings. I'd continued to use them to exercise at home but they were nearly transparent from overuse and had a funky smell I couldn't wash out so they really needed to go. They had an interim role as part of an award-winning 80's party at Beth's house. I was about 5 months pregnant at the time and we were instructed to dress up in 80s garb so my perfect 80s outfit was the black leggings with one of Ben's huge white shirts belted loosely under my belly. Oh, and an 80s headband to boot. I won an award for best costume that day; I think it was a "Miami Vice" video. Or possibly "Strange Brew."

But the inspiration for this post was something I saw yesterday, a reenactment of my skills with a large tee shirt and a pair of scissors. In order to make this fashion statement for yourself, simply take the shirt, slice horizontal cuts in the back only in any pattern that makes you happy. Beautiful, right? How dare she steal my idea from 25 years ago?

What's next? Killer shoulder pads? Scrunchie socks? Wait! Scrunchie hair bands. Waistlines that begin right under your breasts with huge belts? I'm already seeing shirts with necklines so big they fall down your shoulder.

We must prevent the resurrection of some of the horrors of the 80s...let's all chant! No 80s headbands! No 80s headbands!