I've been googled

Not for this blog because when I google my name this doesn't show up but for a more mundane reason...my 25th high school reunion. I was on the "missing" list because, well, I don't have a clue. My parents still live where they lived when I was in high school and would have happily forwarded the information but I guess it never occurred to the committee to do something so obvious.

Now, I have no love of my misfit high school years; I still have nightmares about getting lost in the building and being late for class although I don't know why that nightmare appears when the school wasn't large enough for that and it wasn't a problem. I keep in touch with a few people from that time but have no real desire to seek out an unnecessary and awkward social situation. I never went to any of the other reunions so at least I'm consistent. The reunion is only two weeks away and that's just not enough time to make arrangements. Alas.

Strangely, I'm still curious about what a few of my classmates have done with their lives. Just looking at the list of names shows that the majority of the class seems to have settled down and intermarried amoungst themselves since the last names just seem to rotate a bit. But there are a few that were the high-profile smart and popular kids who seemed destined for wonderful things. I heard that one of the top dudes in the class became a hot shot marketing tennis shoes and I don't remember what the other shining light has done, hopefully something more interesting than that. I hope someone has done something really great and I'm sorry to say it's not me. I also googled my high school crush who will not be named and although there were some listings with his name, I have no way to know if it's actually him. Of course I doubt he knew I had a crush on him...I don't think I ever told anyone.

Looks as though I've got six dead classmates out of about 250 or so. I wonder if that's typical? I was aware of three than had died, one murdered, one suicide, one AIDS but I have no clue what happened to the others. Ok, I couldn't resist so I googled and found that one died of lung cancer, one "died unexpectedly at home", and the last died in 2005 and the obit wasn't available so I don't know what happened to him. Rubbernecking obits, I feel like a pitiful excuse for a human being.

I'm also amused by their questionaire which I, of course, didn't answer. Well, I answered the basic questions about family and work although I had a laugh on the "Number/Age of Grandchildren" question. Grandchildren? Sam's somewhat advanced in some areas but he just doesn't seem capable of cranking out the materials necessary to become a father at this point. We'll have to get him out of diapers first. Other questions: In the last 25 years, what events have meant the most to you? What makes you smile? What makes you happy? Favorite song then and now, favorite movie then and now, best memories of the school, favorite class, favorite quote, favorite teacher, what's next? Argh! Either the answers will be really sappy (the birth of my son, his smile) or something totally weird (The day Bush Jr was elected HA!) or just sad (the year my crops didn't get rained 0ut). I'm not going there. I'm the type of person who avoids legible shirts and bumper stickers because I don't think you need to know what I think unless I'm talking to you. Or reading this but hey, you're here BY CHOICE.

I wonder how many people feel nostalgic about their high school years? Mostly I wish the people who made me miserable way back then are now fat and bald and either unemployed or employed in dead end jobs which I freely admit is very catty and immature. If I'm honest though the person who probably made me most miserable is myself. The real truth is that I probably wouldn't recognize any of them any longer because when I looked at the list of names, most of them didn't bring up a visual or even name recognition so it's pretty hard to speculate on their current appearance.

I guess that my life has improved year by year and I'm glad I don't have to look back at my glory days and wonder what went awry. I can't assume that all the people that will attend the reunion are there because they're reliving that time but I'm guessing the people who went outside the mainstream of our small town are less likely to think about it often if only because they never drive past the place.

Or maybe I'm just an antisocial bitch.